DAMON WAYANS CLOWNS HURRICANE KATRINA EVACUEES IN NEW SITCOM; HAS HE WRITTEN A CHECK THAT HIS OFTEN TIMES-UN-FUNNY-ASS CAN'T CASH?

I mean, really! I swear, the higher an un-funny monkey climbs, the more his un-funny ass shows. Just ask that petite-looking ape who calls himself 50 Cent. That's real talk too. Damon Wayans will not be satisfied until someone kicks him dead on the back of the upper-right corner of his left earlobe with a rusty, steel-toed cowboy boot. I'm surprised none of his kids were born with certified mental retardation, with the way he makes fun of people.

For nearly 20 years Damon Wayans has been one of the most recognized comedian/actors of African American decent. His most successful solo venture to date has been My Wife and Kids, which was canceled in 2005. This time around Wayans is taking a family approach to it again. But this family isn't doing all that great. In fact, the plot line centers around a brother from an often times undeservedly maligned demographic. "It's about a Katrina transplant who's got diabetes and a clubbed foot and he's pissed off," laughed Wayans during a recent chat with EURweb. "They turn on the TV and just let him talk."

People in the black media who have had the opportunity to speak with any of the Wayans know the jokes are flying a mile a minute, but Damon says he can find humor anywhere ... even in Katrina evacuees. "It's called Mista Leroy Jones, it's a comedy. Just because it came from Katrina doesn't mean it ain't funny." We thought 'C'mon, man! No you ain't doin' no comedy about no Katrina evacuees?' Wayans answered the unasked question by saying the following:

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"Comedy has kept us alive. We've laughed in the face of things worse than that. This is real and this is a voice that hasn't been heard." Ok, Katrina evacuee comedy, fine! But why the brother gotta have a clubbed foot? "Because I was born with a clubbed foot," reasoned Wayans.

"In order to talk noise you have to be able to see why and there's nothing like a orthopedic shoe to let you know, yeah, he must be mad. Carrying around that damn shoe all the time makes him real mad."

Hopefully the concept of Katrina comedy doesn't make the real evacuees real damn mad. In the meantime Wayans tells EURweb that he has just submitted the pilot to ABC for approval a couple of week ago. We'll keep our fingers crossed for him.

Mmmmmm-hmmmmm. He gon learn.

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FOXY AIMS FOR EARLY RELEASE FROM RIKERS; CLAIMS SHE'S 'THE BLACK KIM KARDASHIAN.'

Two words: Yeah, right! You'll understand what I mean after you finish reading the blog post below.

Foxy Brown is in solitary confinement at Rikers Island, but her husky voice took over Chung King Studios in downtown Manhattan last night: “I still make the front-page news if I just sneeze!” Foxy, who’s serving a year in prison for violating her probation (with seventy-six days in solitary for fighting), sets a fierce tone on Rumors of Fox from Brooklyn’s Don Diva (Koch/Black Hand) with the brazen braggadocio fans have been waiting six years for.

Though she’s been in the hole since October 23rd — twenty-three hours a day, with one hour outside the cell for physical activity — Foxy’s still actively involved with the release of Don Diva (set to hit stores on February 5th), changing the album art and answering fan mail from inside. The label considers the street album a prelude to her long-awaited Black Roses. Don Diva, recorded before Brown was sentenced, encompasses Foxy’s experiences over the past few years: the physical altercations, court dates, tabloid talk, going deaf, undergoing surgery, regaining her hearing. “It’s about everything she went through,” Mixtape MC and Black Hand labelmate Grafh explains. “It’s gonna be the biggest comeback since Mimi.” LMAO!

On the moody Still Strugglin’, Foxy goes from calling herself “the black Kim Kardashian” to revealing “I remember I was five when a nigga first put his hands on me.”

If Foxy has this much to get off her chest after losing her hearing, imagine what she’ll unleash after spending twenty-three hours a day alone, isolated in lockdown. “She’s focused. Her spirits is high,” says Foxy’s manager Chaz Williams, who has filed for Brown’s early release and hopes she’ll be home by Christmas. “She surprises me sometimes.”

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EDDIE SAYS HE HAS NO INTENTION OF EVER MEETING MEL'S DAUGHTER; VISITATION RIGHTS IS JUST A WASTE OF TIME.

Now, this dude know he's wrong. As wrong as Star Jones Reynolds chilling at the beach in a sarong-less two-piece bathing suit--before and after she lost weight.

London's The Sun newspaper is reporting that lawyers for ex-couple Eddie Murphy and Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown were in court last week trying to iron out visitation rights for their 7-month-old daughter Angel Iris Murphy Brown. Brown, currently competing on ABC's Dancing With the Stars, says Eddie told his lawyers he has no intention of ever meeting his daughter, so attempting to arrange visitation rights is just a waste of time.

Murphy initially denied he was the father of Angel after he announced his breakup with Mel B on a Dutch TV show. But a DNA test eventually proved him wrong. On Wednesday the judge was forced to adjourn the visitation hearing for another three months after Murphy would not submit an offer, The Sun reported.

A source said: “Mel was furious. She had been planning to take Angel to the courthouse to meet her dad for the first time. But when she heard Eddie would only be sending along his lawyers she decided to do the same. She expected at least some kind of an offer. Either to arrange maintenance payments for Angel, or at least to arrange seeing her."

In related news, Brown has thrown the Spice Girls' reunion tour rehearsals into chaos - after making it to the finals of hit reality show Dancing with the Stars. The singer and professional partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy are desperate to beat rivals Marie Osmond and racing driver Helio Castroneves in the popular TV series. But Brown's dedication to the contest - which reaches its climax on Monday (Nov. 26th) - is reportedly playing havoc with her commitments to the Spice Girls. A source tells British newspaper The Sun, "The girls are really proud of her but at the same time they're worried that Mel will give her all to the dance show and be exhausted for the start of the tour."

The Spice Girls kick off their world tour in Vancouver, Canada, on 2 December (07) - just six days after the show's finale.

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CANDID PIC: BRANDY'S DAUGHTER, SYRAI W/HER HALF SISTER RAIN

How cute are they?! Bless their hearts. A reader of mine sent me this pic of Brandy's daughter Syrai (who should be about 5 years old by now) and Syrai's half-sister Rain from her father Robert. It's nice to know that even though Brandy and Robert aren't together anymore, the half-siblings can still spend time together.

Thank you, Kay Dee for throwing this pic my way!

AFTER THE JUMP, CATCH PICS OF BRANDY AT THE 'OLD SCHOOL vs. NEW SCHOOL CHARITY EVENT.'

In related news, Brandy was seen getting her poker game on in Las Vegas for the 'Old School vs. New School Charity Event' on August 11. Peep the pics below:

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STEVE HARVEY'S EX-WIFE FILES LAWSUIT; ACUSES COMEDIAN OF FRAUD, ADULTERY, PHYSICAL & MENTAL ABUSE

TheSmokingGun.com is reporting that his ex-wife, Mary Lee Harvey, claims that she was conned into a quickie divorce engineered by the entertainer and his lawyer, who allegedly sought to keep private details about the star's adultery, poor and neglectful parenting, and "physical and mental abuse" of his ex-spouse. Mary Lee Harvey claims, in a lawsuit filed against her ex-lawyer, that she was defrauded by the comedian and the couple's longtime attorney, who represented both sides in their November 2005 divorce. She alleges that she was unaware of her right to independent counsel and, as a result, was severely shortchanged when it came to alimony, division of community property, and child support. The complaint, filed in District Court yesterday (11-20-07) in Harris County, Texas, claims that the couple's attorney, Ricky Anderson, told her she could not legally get more than $1000 monthly in child support for the couple's son.

The website's report goes on to say that Mary Lee Harvey alleges that Anderson was actually looking out for Steve Harvey's interests, and sought to protect his client's "packaged, do-good, likeable, Christian-type image in the public eye." Anderson and the comedian sought to "quickly and quietly dispose of the divorce" because there were "many things that Steve Harvey ... did during the Harveys' marriage that he did not want the public to know about."

Read The Smoking Gun's full report and Mary Lee Harvey's LEGAL POSITION HERE.

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PICS FROM DONDA WEST'S FUNERAL; KANYE GIVE 'EMOTIONAL', 'HUMOR-FILLED,' HEARTBREAKING' EULOGY.

SPENCER, OKLA. - Kanye West fought back tears as he paid tribute to his mother Tuesday at a funeral service sprinkled with music industry celebrities. The prolific hip-hop artist told a crowd of more than 1,500 mourners, including rap moguls Jay-Z and Beyoncé, he still couldn't believe his mother was gone. "You gotta grow up now," the 30-year-old West said softly of his reaction to getting word his mom had died while he was on tour in Europe. West said he remained abroad for a few days because it was what his mother would have wanted. "She had her hands on me," he said. The rapper and record producer, whose climb to super-stardom began just four years ago, said, "I didn't expect this to happen this year." A single mother and accomplished academic who rose to head the English Department at Chicago State University, Donda West became her son's first manager, closest adviser and "my biggest fan," West said in an impromptu eulogy that was both humor-filled and heartbreaking. Before stepping off the stage, he said simply, "I love you, Mom."

R&B songstress Anita Baker sang Donda's favorite song Summertime before being greeted and thanked by Kanye.

Kanye's fans lined the streets to catch a glimpse of those who attended the service which took place at the True Vine Ministries Church in the suburb of Spencer. The media and general public were not allowed into the service or onto church property, but news cameras set up across the street showed Kanye West, as well as friends and fellow stars Jay-Z and Beyonce, emerging from vehicles. After the service Donda’s casket was placed onto a horse drawn carriage and taken to a nearby cemetery.

MORE PICS OF KANYE, BEYONCE AND JAY-Z AT DONDA WEST'S FUNERAL AFER THE JUMP! (click 'MORE AFTER THE JUMP!' below on bottom left)

Meanwhile, Dr. Jan Adams made a bizarre one-minute appearance on "Larry King Live" last night during which he removed his earpiece and walked off the set as King was trying to ask him questions. Apparently West's family threatened to seek his decertification from the Medical Board of California if he went through with the interview. "I had come here to talk about things in the press that aren't accurate about me, but I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for the West family, and they've asked me not to go on," Adams told King.

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NEW PICS: KIMORA LEE SIMMONS WITH HER DAUGHTERS, MING LEE & AOKI LEE @ ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL.

Supermodel-turned-fashion mogul, Kimora Lee Simmons made a special visit to St. Vincent's Hospital along with her 2 adorable daughters, Ming Lee and Aoki Lee on Monday to read to and spend time with the little hospitalized kids and whatnot. Check out the pics below and after the jump!

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KANYE COMES CLEAN; RAPPER SAYS BEEF WITH THE GOR-REE-RAH a.k.a 50 CENT WAS JUST A PUBLICITY STUNT.

Well touch me in the morning, then just walk away. Who would have ever thought Kanye would once again tell us something we already knew?

Kanye West has revealed his chart battle with rap rival 50 Cent was a publicity stunt he dreamed up to sell records. The pair went head to head in September (07) when both of their albums were released on the same day. West won after a frenzied media battle he now claims he created.

The multi-platinum hitmaker comes clean to GQ (December '07 issue) magazine, stating, "It was a complete publicity stunt. It was my idea. I knew it was going to take off as soon as we were going to come out on the same date. Think about it - you got the two biggest shit-talkers in rap history. There's no-one in rap history known for talking more shit than me and 50. That's something I will stand on." He adds of 50 Cent's vow to retire if he lost the battle: "Oh man, he sold so many more records by saying that. Man, 50 is really one of my favorite rappers, too. I almost feel bad (about beating him)." Although, West hammered 50 with sales in the U.S., it was 50 sold more albums worldwide than his play-play rival.

Also in the cover story, West, who GQ magazine has named as one of their 2007 Men of the Year, does not discuss the sudden tragic passing of his mother Donda in the article, but he does speak on his impending marriage to designer Alexis Phifer. “I’m just going to go and get married — I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. It’s not to prove anything to anyone — it’s for me, for stability in my life, and I’m so happy that I found someone that I really love, that challenges me, that keeps my life interesting, that’s just as crazy as I am.”

The issue hits newsstands on November 27.

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CHRIS BROWN TO APPEAR IN & PRODUCE NEW NICKELODEON SHOW BASED UPON HIS 2 PRE-TEEN DANCERS.

Chris Brown is allowing Nickelodeon cameras full access to his upcoming Exclusive tour for a new reality pilot revolving around his two pre-teen backup dancers. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the half-hour project will follow 11-year-old Scooter and 9-year-old Miles as they roam the country with Brown, who is also producing the pilot and will appear from time to time on-camera.

The effort marks Brown's first foray into producing and is his first television deal. As an actor, Brown made his feature debut in Stomp the Yard and next appears on the big screen in This Christmas, which opens today (Nov. 21).

Nickelodeon has yet to release an airdate for the pilot, which its scheduled to premiere as a special.

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CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY FOR TIMBALAND; PRODUCER WELCOMES BABY GIRL; GETS ENGAGED.

Producer Timbaland is engaged to his girlfriend and publicist, Monique Idlett – and the pair have just welcomed a baby girl, a source close to the rapper tells PEOPLE. Idlett, 33, gave birth to their daughter just a couple of days ago, according to the source. Timbaland and Idlett have been dating for two years, and "they're both really happy together," says the source. "They've known each other for years."

The music producer (and pal of Justin Timberlake) proposed at the couple's baby shower in October. This will be the first marriage for both; Timbaland and Idlett plan to tie the knot within the next year.

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NE-YO ON HIS REACTION TO BEING DROPPED FROM R. KELLY'S 'DOUBLE UP' TOUR; SINGER APOLOGIZES TO FANS.

Ne-Yo was informed Monday that he was being permanently removed from his supporting slot on R. Kelly's current Double Up tour, despite overwhelmingly positive reviews received from "entertainment reporters, music critics, bloggers, fans, and concert goers," read a statement from Ne-Yo's rep. A contractual dispute is the tour's official reason for Ne-Yo's departure. But according to camp Ne-Yo, Kelly fired the singer because he "brought too much heat" for Kelly to compete against. He's written hit songs for Beyonce (Irreplaceable) and Rihanna (Unfaithful), spending a combined 19 weeks at No. 1 on the Hot 100," said Ne-Yo's business partner and manager, Tango, in a statement. "…The fans were really feeling his performances. He's good; maybe he's too good – that's the problem."

Ne-Yo adds: "I don't understand their actions because I was rehearsing, doing media, promoting the tour, and performing. In my opinion, I was doing everything possible to make the tour a success. I love being on stage in front of fans because of the immediate feedback you get. You know right away if they are feeling you; and they were really feeling our show. …To my fans and ticket holders – I apologize if you are disappointed," he said.

R. Kelly's rep, Allan Mayer, said the singer played no role in firing Ne-Yo, whose real name is Shaffer Smith: "Ne-Yo's departure from the 'Double Up' tour was the result of a contractual issue between him and the tour promoter. R. Kelly had nothing to do with it."

After a shaky start in Columbus, Georgia last week – during which Ne-Yo had to take over Keyshia Cole's opening slot when she failed to perform following J. Holliday – the tour continued with all three opening acts in Atlanta and continued through the south with scheduled stops in Greensboro, Birmingham and Charlotte.

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CELEBS ON THE RED CARPET PICS: INNER CITY DESTINY AWARDS, DIVERSITY AWARDS, VS FASHION SHOW, THE GOOD WEEKEND..

Lamman Rucker attends the 15th Annual Inner City Destiny Awards at the Celebrity Centre International in Los Angeles on November 17, 2007. FYI: For all you Lamman Rucker fans, I have a tv alert for you. Tonight you can see Lamman on the 10:30 p.m. episode of Tyler Perry's House of Payne on TBS. Don't say I ain't never done nothing for you! This episode, titled Weeping May Endure for a Night, originally aired last September. Perry favorites David and Tamela Mann also guest star along with Rucker. It is absolutely hilarious! Funny as hell! I promise to God it is! The old-school clothes and tic-tac shoes that David, who plays Mr. Brown, wears is enough to make you bust a gut! After I recorded this episode, I password-protected on my DVR to watch whenever I felt like getting my laugh on.

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A host of celebrities gathered at the Globe Theater in Los Angeles on Sunday, November 18 to celebrate the annual Diversity Awards. The Divesity Awards honors creative achievement in film and television and presents awards to those who exemplify creative accomplishments, and diverse artistic talent in film and television. Celebs in attendance included: Mo'Nique (who brought along her grandmother), rapper-turned-actor Sticky Fingaz, Tatyana Ali, Salli Richardson, Lil Romeo, Denise Boutte (Why Did I Get Married?, Meet the Browns)and more.

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Kim Kardashian and her oldest sister Kourtney along with music producer, Scott Storch attend the Good Life Weekend event at The Fifth in Miami on November 16, 2007.

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Gabrielle Union and the Spice Girls attend the Victoria's Secret fashion show.

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