MICHAEL JACKSON DEAD @ 50 + B.E.T. AWARD TRIBUTES & MY PERSONAL STORY.

As I write this post, I am beyond beside myself with grief. I hope you all can read it without it sounding too choppy and all over the place. Anyhoo, to say that we have lost the greatest entertainer this world has ever known would be a gross understatement. I know I'm not alone in thinking that. I have cried and cried and cried since hearing the news. I must've freaked out my 9-year old niece because she had no idea why her auntie was crying so hard. So much so that my head is still throbbing. My chest was literally aching. Last night, I cried for hours. I cried just as hard as I did when my daddy died (Michael was the same age as my father when he passed). I cried even more when I would turn to MTV or BET and see one of his videos playing. After a while, I said to myself, 'SouthernGurl, stop it. You're going to make yourself sick. It's okay to mourn his passing, but you should also celebrate his life.' And that's what I did. I pulled out my Off the Wall, Thriller, Bad and Greatest Hits cds and commenced to singing and dancing my ass off something proper like. And it's funny because once I got that hard cry out, I realized that, like my daddy, Michael also lived a full life. But my heart still hurts for Michael. I pray he's at peace. I love him so much. He will be sorely missed. Real talk. I also want to give a shout out to my childhood friend of over 25 years, Asia, who I hadn't talked to in years. It was Michael's death that motivated her to reach out to me...she was the first person to do so. Our talk was long overdue and I'm just so happy we were able to reconnect. I still don't know if the buckets of tears I shed during our phone call was due to Michael's passing or us finally being able to talk again! I'm just glad it happened. I'll see you soon, Acey-A!

Back to Michael. I've been in love with that man since I was 4 years old (ask my mama or anybody who knows me) when my parents bought me my first album ever: Off the Wall in 1979! By the time I was in kindergarten I knew the words to every song on that album! True story through and through, yall. I ain't lying. My love for this man is damn near unexplainable. I remember asking my parents if they would take me to Jacksonville, Florida to see Michael on his Victory tour. They said, 'yes,' and I thought I was going to lose my mind because I was going to see Michael up close and personal! So imagine my surprise when they later told me something came up and I wouldn't be able to go. Months later that something happened to be the birth of my funky little sister. I went from being a spoiled only child who was on her way to see Michael Jackson to being a bitter big sister to a rugrat born at the most inopportune time in MY life! But still my love for Michael never wavered. Let's see: When other little girls slept with their Care Bears stuffed animals and Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, I slept with my Off the Wall and Thriller album covers. Yes, it was that serious. Oh, and I cried when his hair caught fire in that Pepsi commercial. I used 10 stamps on a fan letter that I wrote to him because I wanted to make sure that letter had enough postage to make it to its destination. I kept my bedroom walls covered with Michael Jackson posters (Word Up, Right On! and Blackbeat magazines were a must in my household). I learned the dance routine to his Bad video and would dance to it every morning before going to school (he was so sexy to me in that video)! I HATED every woman he was associated with especially Ola Ray, Brooke Shields, Stephanie Mills, Tatum O'Neal, Siedah Garrett (she co-wrote Michael's song Man in the Mirror and also did a duet with him on I Just Can't Stop Loving You), the skinny knock-kneed chick in his The Way You Make Me Feel video...hell, I was even jealous of the figure laying in the bed in his Billie Jean video!

You know we joke around about the way Michael looked or the weird things he's done (i.e. buying the hyperbaric chamber, his fascination with Bubbles, buying the Elephant Man's bones, etc.) but that man has left an indelible mark on the music industry ever since he became a part of it. What he has accomplished in music, no one else never, ever will. No one. The man is the epitome of a musical icon. We can never deny him that. He sacrificed his childhood to entertain us. For that I'll be forever grateful. I just pray his soul's at rest and that he knew how much he was loved and revered as an artist and a humanitarian. Despite all the criticism and negativity that surrounded his life in the past several years, he was still and will always remain the first and last of his kind. God broke the mold when he made Michael. These singers today should forever give this man his just due...even in death. His videos were original and phenomenal and actually made sense. He sent messages without using obscene language (i.e. the N word, calling females b!tches and hoes, bragging about how many women he bedded) and he performed his ass off all while doing it. Yeah, I'll be the first to admit that I would often jump back if I suddenly came upon a photo of him during his post-Bad era. But once I saw him perform, his facial features became secondary. He entertained us for decades, hell for generations. My mama would tell me how she and her girlfriends use to crush on him back in the day. A generation later and me and my friends were doing the same thing!

Needless to say, his legacy is eternal and cannot/will not be erased by even the most horrible of charges and allegations ever made against him. His music and performances are historic and I will cherish his memory until my dying day. My heart goes out to Michael's family, especially the three children he leaves in his memory. I also learned that another reason Michael wanted to do this comeback tour (besides for financial reasons) is because he wanted to show his kids why he is the King of Pop, respectively. Also, a BET spokesperson told Tom Joyner that this Sunday's BET Awards (at 8:00 pm) will be dedicated entirely to Michael. Special tributes will also be made to the fallen legend. Because of this, the awards ceremony will air longer than the normal 3 hours as BET will allow celebrities in attendance ample time to pay homage to the singer. I gotta thank my big sister Nikki for emailing me that info. Thank you, gurl! I predict this year's awards show will be the most watched ever.

Now excuse me while I go pop in his greatest hits cd.

R.I.P. Michael. You were truly loved and adored by many. May you find the peace you were searching for here on Earth in the heavens above.

TO READ WHAT CELEBS HAD TO SAY ABOUT MICHAEL'S UNTIMELY PASSING PLUS THE LATEST NEWS ON HIS DEATH , HEAD OVER TO BLACKCELEBRITYMEN.BLOGSPOT.COM

Here's my favorite Michael Jackson performance of all time.

....