DEELISHIS IN SMOOTH MAGAZINE: REALITY STAR DISHES ON WHAT'S KINKY IN THE BEDROOM & WHAT'S NOT.

First and foremost, is it just me or did the photographers over there at Smooth magazine do one hell of a job on Deelishis' pictures?!! And although I am NO homo, I'm pretty sure some of you guys will agree with me as well. Because we know in reality that her stomach looks as if a child got hold of a beige marker and vertically scribbled long squiggly lines down her tummy. Am I lying?!! (CLICK HERE and don't forget to peep her new Smooth pics under the following excerpts. Anywho, Deelishis is in the new issue of men's magazine Smooth where she attempts to school dudes on what it takes to bring out the kinkiness in your girl/jump-off. Below, read how Deelishis, who insist kinky sex is only for 'grown folks', fills you in on how to graduate to advanced sexual techniques when your girl is stuck on the basics.

**FYI: VULGAR & GRAPHIC LANGUAGE BELOW**

PREP WORK:'Alcohol is a good bet. I like Grey Goose, but find out what works best for her. Make sure she drinks enough so she's got a good buzz going, but not too messed up that she's on the verge of passing out. A comatose partner does not equal to kinky sex. You can also go for a phone conversation to warm her up. Talk about what you want to do with her and don't be afraid to be a little vulgar. Kinky talk, like kinky sex, should be raw and uncut. If you're really serious about it, then you can surprise her. Here's how: The next time you're home alone and you know she's coming over, put on a good porno and tell her to let herself in. When she comes in the room, make sure you've got your 'pride' worked up to the density of steel and sitting right out in the open for her. And don't forget to blast the volume on the porno.'

GETTING DOWN TO DO THE DIRTY: 'Here are some things on the list of kinky: sucking toes, having sex with your girl while she's upside-down, biting nipples, having sex in a Jacuzzi...with an audience, spontaneous making-out, ass-slapping, hair pulling, even some light choking--all of that is kinky. Dirty talk is kinky. It's the only time a man can get away with calling me a 'dirty slut.' Putting your finger in a woman's backside is kinky. Unusual settings are kinky, like on the hood o a car in the rain or on an airplane. And always, always remember: Money is kinky. Sex on a bed covered with bills, now that's a turn-on!'

FIND OUT WHAT'S NOT KINKY BY CLICKING 'READ MORE AFTER THE JUMP' ON THE BOTTOM LEFT.

WHAT'S NOT KINKY: '...There are plenty of things that used to be kinky and aren't anymore or were never kinky to begin with. Trying to have sex with a girl when she's not wet is NOT kinky (I'm always wet, so this isn't really a problem for me, personally). The missionary position is NOT kinky. A man screaming too loud is NOT kinky. Sucking on the clit too hard is NOT kinky. Fingering a woman's vagina is NOT kinky. If these are the kind of things your girl considers kinky, you've got your work cut out for you.

When you're done with kinky sex, you should be ready to pass out. If you've got enough energy to have a conversation about how good it was, then you didn't do your job right.