PREP WORK:'Alcohol is a good bet. I like Grey Goose, but find out what works best for her. Make sure she drinks enough so she's got a good buzz going, but not too messed up that she's on the verge of passing out. A comatose partner does not equal to kinky sex. You can also go for a phone conversation to warm her up. Talk about what you want to do with her and don't be afraid to be a little vulgar. Kinky talk, like kinky sex, should be raw and uncut. If you're really serious about it, then you can surprise her. Here's how: The next time you're home alone and you know she's coming over, put on a good porno and tell her to let herself in. When she comes in the room, make sure you've got your 'pride' worked up to the density of steel and sitting right out in the open for her. And don't forget to blast the volume on the porno.'
GETTING DOWN TO DO THE DIRTY: 'Here are some things on the list of kinky: sucking toes, having sex with your girl while she's upside-down, biting nipples, having sex in a Jacuzzi...with an audience, spontaneous making-out, ass-slapping, hair pulling, even some light choking--all of that is kinky. Dirty talk is kinky. It's the only time a man can get away with calling me a 'dirty slut.' Putting your finger in a woman's backside is kinky. Unusual settings are kinky, like on the hood o a car in the rain or on an airplane. And always, always remember: Money is kinky. Sex on a bed covered with bills, now that's a turn-on!'
When you're done with kinky sex, you should be ready to pass out. If you've got enough energy to have a conversation about how good it was, then you didn't do your job right.