BOBBY BROWN AND SISQO: WHICH ONE WILL BE AMERICA'S NEXT COUNTRY SUPERSTAR?

You know you're a veteran has-been when you go from selling multi-platinum albums, performing at sold-out concerts, bedding the finest industry babes in the game and having the luxury to spend recklessly on frivolous things to becoming a washed-up artist whose poor album sales reach below gold status three times over, performing in any venue with less than a 50-person capacity limit and sleeping with underage hoodrats before becoming shamefully broker than a joke. Those latter situations will no doubt qualify you as being a true veteran has-been.

Case in point: Bobby Brown and Sisqo. These two true veterans has-been's careers are so off the radar that they have had no choice but to humble down and accept any and the all help they can get in hopes of reviving their music career...even it means substituting R&B music to country music. Brown, Sisqo, Julio Iglesias, Jr., Carnie Williams, Diana DeGarmo, Dee Snider and Maureen McCormick will vie for the chance at winning a country music career on CMT network's new reality show series entitled Gone Country.

The celebrities will live in a Nashville mansion together and will compose songs with Nashville songwriters. In each episode, the cast will compete against each other in challenges that will test them musically and physically to adapt to a country music lifestyle, both on and off the stage. At the end of two weeks, the artist who is most prepared to impress a country audience, as determined by country singer/songwriter John Rich of Big & Rich fame, will record and release a song. Production is currently underway in Nashville. The six-episode series will premiere in January 2008.

In related news, Brown is still convinced Osama Bin Laden wants him dead so he can marry Whitney Houston -- 11 months after the singers officially separated. Brown's 14-year marriage to Houston came to an end when their divorce was finalized earlier this year, but Brown remains adamant he is on the al Qaeda leader's hit list. He even hired extra security to guard him on his recent tour of Australia. He tells the New York Daily News, "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power. Come on, if anybody (else was) threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously.

Ladies, please take your birth control pills so that you won't have to be forced to raise a child who could one day grow up with a mentality paralleled to Brown. Please and thank you.