DIDDY GETS A 2-FOR-1 DEAL WITH NEW ASSISTANT + A NEW REALITY SHOW ON VH1.

Sean 'Diddy' Combs, who has been searching for a new personal assistant since last April; and it looks like he has finally found the unfortunate soul who will most likely endure all kinds of true madness and mayhem that comes along with having the mega-mogul as their employer. Diddy and his selected one, as well as 2 other candidates who were in the running will also appear on today's episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

I wouldn't be able to work for Puff the Bucktooth Dragon. No sir-ree! I wouldn't even do it if Jesus came down from the heavens above, stood before me, and asked me Himself! I'd be like, 'Jesus, You know I'm Your child, so You above all people should know how long it takes me to spaz out on somebody.' My patience level is this *snaps finger* short. And trust, if he came at me with some idiotic kind of bullshit, I'd go caveman on his ass and be quick to tell him, 'First off, I'm not 100% in love with your tone right now.' Diddy looks like the kinda dude who would demand and command you to pick off all the sesame seeds off his hamburger bun.

Plus, there ain't no way I'd sign a confidentiality agreement (I talk too much! LOL!)..especially with all the scandalous and shiesty shit he's known for pulling. I'd develop a case of constipation of the brain and diarrhea at the mouth and telling everybody everything I've heard and/or witnessed while working with him. Trust. The bullshit he bestows upon people is unfathomable.

That's just my piece, so I'll digress.

CONTINUE READING THE ARTICLE AFTER THE JUMP AND FIND OUT WHICH UNLUCKY SOUL NABBED THEIR DREAM JOB! ALSO DIDDY DISHES DETAILS REGARDING HIS NEW VH1 REALITY SHOW WHERE HE WILL SELECT 3 MORE ASSISTANTS.

Sean "Diddy" Combs, also known as P. Diddy, Puff Daddy and Puffy, has almost as many names as he does ventures—rapper, producer, designer, actor—and that's just the beginning. This hip-hop mogul has a fast-paced lifestyle and he needs assistance! "I know you all have heard all of the rumors that I'm looking for a new assistant. The rumors are true. So what better job than to have me scream at you, go crazy, keep you up late hours, have you sleep deprived?" Diddy says.

Diddy is no stranger to YouTube and decided to use his page, Diddy TV, to find his new assistant. Applicants were urged to submit video interviews explaining why they were right for the job. "One of the things about YouTube, it's a way to cut out the middle man and go directly to your community," he says. Within 24 hours, Diddy began receiving offbeat videos from around the world and realized he needed to narrow down his qualifications. "You have to have some sort of skill set. Know how to read. You've got to know how to write. I hope you know you've got to have a college degree," Diddy says.

After sorting through thousands of videos, Diddy narrowed his selection to three candidates: Heather, a confident lawyer; Cedric, a talented businessman; and Nick, an ambitious rapper.

Diddy heard their pitches, reviewed their résumés and conducted background checks on each candidate. His new assistant is… Heather! Diddy says he has several reasons for choosing Heather. "It was just her passion, it was the way she articulated herself. I think she really understood what the job entailed. She had a background that was stellar, being a lawyer and her work in the Peace Corps."

Cedric and Nick shouldn't give up hope yet—Diddy announces that he's really looking for a total of four new assistants. "VH-1 has decided to shoot a reality show on me finding the other three assistants. So you guys are still in contention. I'm still looking for assistants out there, so still post your videos on YouTube."