Wednesday, September 10, 2008

MO'NIQUE IN OCTOBER 2008 ISSUE OF ESSENCE MAGAZINE; ACTRESS SPILLS THE TEA ON BEING MOLESTED BY HER BROTHER; HER NEW MOVIE ROLE. IS SHE OSCAR BOUND?

For the umpteenth time, actress/comedian/author Mo’Nique is featured on the cover of Essence magazine’s October 2008 issue where she reveals a painful yet unfunny secret she’s been keeping to herself for the past 25 years: she was sexually abused by her older brother from the age of 7 until she was 11 years old. ‘I was molested by my older brother. And even when I confronted him and told my parents, he said I was lying and nothing was really done,’ she says. Wow, right? From the way I’ve heard her speak about her relationship with her father, who doted on night and day, it makes me wonder why he wouldn’t believe his baby girl. Anyhoo, Mo’Nique, now 40 years old, says her brother, who is 10 years older than her, molested her four times over the next four years after following her into the bathroom and giving her candy. When she turned 15, Mo’Nique finally mustered up enough courage to tell her parents again after a very violent episode (which she didn’t discuss in the article) took place. And although she says she doesn’t blame her parents for what happened to her, she says there were times when she was angry at them.
“I’m not blaming my parents because me and my brother were both their children, and I just don’t know the kind of position they felt they were in. My father was very upset, but it never got mentioned again. I’ll never forget my mother saying, ’If it’s true, it will surface again,’ and I remember thinking, Why would I lie? Why is there even an if in this? I was angry with them for so long, because I felt as if they should have seen what was happening. It seems celebrities always come out with these stories. But we’re real people, and a lot of real people get molested."
As for her brother, Mo’Nique has thought about the repercussions her revelation could have on him, saying:
“It makes me nervous. It’s like, Oh, God, what will it do to him when people read this? And then another part of me is like, Goddammit it, it’s my obligation to let people know, and to tell women to watch their children. I’ve never gotten a genuine ‘I’m sorry’ from my brother. He still acts like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. So screw hurting your feelings! You need to get your feelings hurt, and you need to get some help. Because I never said anything--didn’t go to the police or a counselor--my brother went on to do terrible things to someone else. He went on to sexually abuse another girl.”
For that crime, her brother was arrested, convicted and served 15 years in prison.
"[After my birth delivery] my mother put my twin boys (who are now three years old) in my brother’s arms and I suddenly thought, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend. I didn’t want to make a scene at the hospital, but when I got home I called my brother and said, ‘You know what? If I never see you again in life, I’m okay. I wish you no harm, but I don’t choose to ever deal with you again.’…Parents, please listen if your baby comes to you and says anything like ‘I was uncomfortable with the way he looked at me or the way he touched me.’ Listen to them. Molestation has a damaging effect. I tried on several occasions to turn the pain of molestation into humor, but never could. I was too embarrassed to do therapy because I was always told it was a White woman’s thing. But therapy for me has been beautiful because I’m learning not to be a victim."
Mo'Nique's has not been in touch with her brother since.

CLICK 'EM TO SEE 'EM!


AFTER THE JUMP, READ ABOUT THE NEW MOVIE ROLE THAT ENCOURAGED MO’NIQUE TO SPILL HER SECRET & WHY FOLKS IN THE INDUSTRY ARE ALREADY MAKING HER NAME SYNONYMOUS WITH THE WORDS ‘ACADEMY AWARD.’

With Pepa and Faith releasing their tell-all books to reveal to the world what they went through, what prompted Mo’Nique to reveal her most darkest secret is her dramatic role in the new film Push. And if it’s as gritty as she says it is, we may not recognize the woman we’ve come to know as the funny and unpredictable Ms. Nikki Parker. In Push, which is directed by Monster’s Ball director Lee Daniels, Mo’Nique plays Mary Jones, a woman who sexually violates her own daughter---she forces her child to perform oral sex on her, beats her, makes her gorge on food--and let’s her husband continue the abuse by raping their daughter, getting her pregnant twice. Talk about being dysfunctional!! This movie, as well as Mo’Nique’s performance in it is so unimaginably ugly, unyielding and downright deplorable that some folks in the industry are already saying that this movie can do for Mo’Nique what Monster’s Ball did for Halle Berry--earn her an Academy Award.

"The boldness and honesty she brings to this character takes my breath away," says Daniel. "She metamorphoses into an absolute beast. Sometimes I had to step away and do a double take, because I found myself completely not recognizing her." Mo'Nique adds, "My brother was a monster to me. When Lee would say 'Action,' I became my brother."

32 comments:

Z-Man said...

He bribed her big azz wit candy? Y am I not suprized!!! So she getz a new movie role and all of a sudden she wantz to put her bro on blast? then her parentz ain't do nuffin? Blood or no blood I wood kick my son down to m-effing ground if i found out he was touching my lil girl. Believe it.

***CherryWine*** said...

Wow. I would've never thought.

I can't help but wonder if she would have said anyhting had it not been for that movie role.

Something ain't right. But kudos to her for finally speaking up. That's if this is true.

Does she have more than one brother because I could've swore that her brother was also her manager. She said something a long time ago about only hiring relatives or something to that effect.

Anonymous said...

Damn that's sad. then dude went to jail for doing the same shit to another female. Hmmmmm, makes you wonder if Monique feels responsible for that. I bet her brother is hating her ass right now! LOL!

Broken Silence said...

how she gon put her brother out there like that??!!!! she should;ve kept this mess behind closed doors!!!! don't nobody want to hear all of her family's dirty laundry!!!! what's next?!!! Is she gonna start claiming that her daddy beat her mama's ass?!!!! she said she got therapy but yet she still flapping off at the gums!!! she should've been flapping her gums like that back when she was trading sexual favors with her brother for a Happy Meal with cheese!!! I don't feel sorry for her at all!!!

Yeah, I Said It said...

Broken Silence I think you have some serious issues you yourself need to address. You need to calm down, find a phone book, pick a nutcracker and have someone to evaluate that frenzied mind of hers. Until then please shut the f*ck up.

Oshyn said...

Nice pics. I like a lot!

Anonymous said...

Yall are a trip!!!! ROTF

FAMUDiva said...

When will this cycle of madness stop?

living in liberty city said...

Mo Mo ain't as gully as I thought she was. With all the shit she talk why is he still even breathing? That brother of hers would still have the taste of my back hand embedded in his memory to this day.

SOMEONE MENTIONED A NUTCRACKER. YEAH I WOULD'VE INTRODUCED HIIM TO A NUTCRACKER ALRIGHT. IT WOULD BE THE ONE WITH GRIPS. NOT THE ONE WITH A LICENSE TO COUNSEL YOU. NOT UNDERMINING THERAPY OR NOTHIG LIKE THAT.

I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

God bless Monique. SOme of yall in here are downright ignorant. Ugh! I felt her pain while reading that article.

Anonymous said...

Broken Silence, should have never been broken and should have remained silent.

Now, back to Mo. Nobody knows what they would have done in that situation unless they were in that situation. People can say, "if it was me, I woulda". I'm here to say...no you wouldn't have. It happens to the mass majority when they were little children, and as a child, you don't know what to do. Who would believe you and in most cases, nothing gets done about it anyway.

justbelieve09 said...

Wow. At 13, my ex-friend's dad molested me....and when I told my ex-friend's mom she thought I wanted her man and that I was lying. To this day, she still thinks I want her man. What the hell does a 13 year old girl want with a 47 year old man? Not a damn thing! Needless to say, that friendship ended.

Fast forward to age 21. I finally told my mother and father, who decides not to say anything to them and left the decision to me. I don't speak to anyone connected to him except certain people who knew how he was. To be honest.....I believe that everyone who commits crimes like this will meet their fate. And when that man dies and meets God, he will be dealt with.

To those who laugh this mess off, you need to stop laughing and pay close attention. People are NOT playthings, and you cannot just "get over" things of this nature.

ELP90 said...

I am really glad that she decided to get counseling i.e. therapy. I have a very dear friend that is now just beginning counseling after holding all of this in for over 15+ yrs. It started to wear on her relationship with 3 of us so we had to do the hard love and place distance b/w us all the while telling her to talk to someone which she FINALLY did.. and the sad part is her mother will not accept the fact that her father and stepfather did this to her. I commend Mo'nique for speaking out because i have seen this friend depressed and suicidal...

Anonymous said...

when a child molests another child it is moreso abt control not sex. my bf just admitted a couple of mths ago that her older brother molested her as a child. she had always said that he hated her and i never understood why. i have a family member that is a serial pedophile everyone knows it, even his children, yet no one will do anything abt it. this world is a sick place!

havelock said...

Sorry to say but the father never did anything about it because he probably molested her brother, or at least another adult male in the family molested him.
Normal teenagers just dnt molest their younger siblings unless someone did it to them first.

Coca said...

Hmmmm... Maybe that's why she said on her show that she and her mother weren't on speaking terms a few weeks ago. Maybe her mom was mad that she finally put it out there. She had a caller who said she wasn't speaking to her mother for whatever reason and Mo cried and was like, "You know? I'm not speaking to my mother right now either and it hurts."

Anonymous said...

fucking @ Monique's unfunny ass on the cover again!!!!!! Burn Essence Burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

could her past sexual abuse be one of the reasons she has an 'open' marriage?

Charmsoheight said...

I am sorry this happened to her and it takes an awesome amount of courage for her to speak out about this issue.

Regarding her open relationship, many victims of sexual abuse need years of therapy to re-learn trusting the opposite sex. Perhaps one way of her coping is not getting too close to her husband.

Either way, I'm happy that she is growing in such a way that she is at least about to speak about it.

Anonymous said...

Why the fuck would her BROTHER do that to his SISTER. How can you look at your family member in that way. Plain ol' nasty. I'm glad she is speaking on the subject though. Then for her parents not to listen to her is another story. I'm glad she made something out of her life in spite of that.

~Kendra~ said...

I'm glad she's speaking out about it. It's a lot more common than people would like to believe, and many families sadly sweep it under the rug.

On another note, why does Essence always have the same people on it's cover over and over? I guess we'll see Gabby, or Jill next. No hate, just an honest observation.

2blessed4stress said...

She does not have an open mariage.She explained this very topic at her show last month,I saw her in person.Anyway she said what happened was,she started making money,real big money,new money,bank!!! So she started thinking she was the shit and was doing whatever.So she met this jamacian man(I think) well some island dude and his sex game was off the damn chain!!! It was so damn good she bought a damn Villa on the island to be close to him.She said when she first met dude she called her now husband but at the time was her bestfriend of 14 yrs and told him about dude.They had recently started dating,so her boyfriend(now husband) said he would join her in a week so she could spend time with her man,then he showed up a week later and they hooked up.Then when he mentioned since she was with ole dude then it was okay for him to be with other women and she went off. She said she does not have an open marriage,but it he was to cheat it would not be grounds for divorce,because she was caught up wih two men herself and know how easy it is to fall for two people. She has lost alot of weight and she said she's on no diet.The weight has droped off due to her being 40 and running after two,two year olds. So I assume she recently did this interview because she said they were 2.

Stephanie said...

I cant believe he would do that to his own sister! I guess he couldn't get nuttin from the ladies so he touched his sister!! I would have mentally broken down if my parents wouldn't believe me!!

Angel said...

This world really has some narrow minded people out there. "Broken Silence" is a LOSER!!! So, many people have carried the burden of molestation for so long that's been done by many unsuspecting people. It can affect you in so many ways and how you deal with life. If Monique's role was so close to home then I can see why it came out. She had to free herself. Why put her brother out there like there????Hell, why he put her out there like that...you reap what you sow! I read her book and can't remember her mentioning it but I'm pretty sure it was another brother not the manager one. I bet she feels unleashed and does'nt give a damn what people say even her parents. Because they didn't care about her feelings then. Too proud to believe. Life's a trip. Everyone has dark secrets and being "gully" is so different when you are put in a extremely awkard and sickening position by family. So, you can freeze up. Trust me. Monique keep shinning!!!!

Anonymous said...

( THANK YOU JUSTBELIEVE09!!!) iam so glad that you addressed those dumb ass fools!they themselves will have to deal with GOD for mocking and laughing at that situation!!!Damn,people are really heartless with no soul!that is terrible because it's those kinda dumbasses that shit happens to because they are clueless!!! i'm so happy you voiced your feelings and story.May God continue to bless you and yours.and may God rescue and save all of those who may be victims trapped in that kind of ugly world!!! and as for her brother..WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!HE IS ALREADY BURNING IN HELL!MARK MY WORDS!~I GUARANTEE!!!!THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

PS)THANK YOU VERY MUCH 2 TO ANGEL & ALL OF THE REAL INTELLIGENT-GOOD HEARTED-INDIVIDUALS THAT R IN GOD'S FAVOR & BLESSING FOR STANDING UP IN THE FACE OF EVIL!!! THAT POSTED ON THIS BLOG!!!!THANK YOU,WHAT A RELIEF FOR YOU ALL!!!

Anonymous said...

I too was molested at age 7 by my father. I didn't say anything to anyone until both my parents died. I had a bit of a break down and told my siblings. Some of them believed it some didn't want to hear it. Some even blamed me. I'm dealing with it , I've gone to therapy but I live with it every day. The shame, the embaressment, it's real. Monique I know your pain it's a real struggle but God is good. My brother is serving time for molesting his girlfriend's daughter. I love him and support him even though
I hate what he did. Talk about your double-edged sword. My brother never touch me but how much of what happened to me did he know about. Did it happen to him too? Or is it really about controlling something in a sick perversion of a mind. Black people , talk about it with our youth. Maybe if we talk about it openly our kids wont be so embaressed to tell on Chester the child molester. Expose their asses good for them!

kimboo7 said...

I pray that God heals Mo'Nique on the inside and I give her so much props for speaking out on this evil crime. Like I said in one of my raps called Family Secrets:

Incest comes in many forms and they all cause harm
So please listen to your children when they sound the alarm
Cause no child should be subjected to live this way
And anyone that violates them will surely pay...

We have a responsibility as parents to do everything in our power to protect our children and be there for them whenever they need us. God bless Mo'Nique and all others that have gone through the horrors of incest and molestation. K-MoR in Houston

kimboo7 said...

I pray that God heals Mo'Nique on the inside and I give her so much props for speaking out on this evil crime. Like I said in one of my raps called Family Secrets:

Incest comes in many forms and they all cause harm
So please listen to your children when they sound the alarm
Cause no child should be subjected to live this way
And anyone that violates them will surely pay...

We have a responsibility as parents to do everything in our power to protect our children and be there for them whenever they need us. God bless Mo'Nique and all others that have gone through the horrors of incest and molestation. K-MoR in Houston

Anonymous said...

People kill me. None of yall know her to judge her, or the reason why she kept this a secret. I'm sure she was scared, and when something like that happens you never know that outcome of that person. That was probably why her weight became an issue after the molestion.. Please educate yourselves before you judge, no body knows her personally. Either you accept her for who she (her past and all) or you dont period.

Ms. C said...

I'm proud of a Black sister speaking up. If more of us spoke up, less younger sister's would have to go trough the life altering, damaging effects of childhood molestation. It happened in my family to a few of the females in my generation by the same cousin. But, of course, the older women in the family would have taken his side. After we all were grown, we felt real bad because one of his girlfriend's young daughter was molested by him. Had we been able to go to our mothers, she might not be FORCED to live with the turmoil of those memories. The empty, dirty, lonely, angry, feelings of being violated, and her innocence being dragged away, just for the sexual pleasure of a deseaed mind. PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, AUNTIES, AND UNCLES when a child in your family comes to you and tells you that they have been touched or harrased sexually by a family member, DO NOT JUST LET THIS MATTER GO, and wait and see if this matter will surface again. ACT IMMEDIATELY TO STOP IT, EVEN IF THE PREDATOR IS YOUR OWN CHILD. The damage is immeasurable, and it can and will last a lifetime. Alifetime of a broken heart. Our children have no one else toturn to to protect them. If it were an outsider of the family, you would act. WHY NOT WHEN IT IS ONE OF YOUR OWN???
PUT EM ALL ON BLAST!!! That's the least they deserve!!! Prison will take care of the true justice. DON' DROP THE SOAP!!!

Anonymous said...

I really feel for Mo'Nique. I know what this is like. But I am terrified for what she really went through with noone believing her. Therapy isn't just for white girls or people. Abuse doesn't see age, or color, or regligion or lack there of or sex.

I am white and was sexually abused by both of my grandfathers who abused my mother and aunt, then me, and my father, and my great grand father from the time I was 3 years to the age of 14. When I finally snapped and mustered up the courage to tell someone no one believed me and my mother beat the fuckin life out me in front of absolutely all them and the rest of the family and called me a whore and a liar and slut an ungreatful bitch and so on and then that night she took me to a psychiatric hospital and told them I was having hallucinations.

I was there for 7 months. I got out and hit the streets and never went back. I was either on the run of locked up somewhere until I was 18. I have managed to make it on my own since then, but now at 26 I am married and I have real issues having sex even with my husband, I have explained it to him and he just says I need to get over it and move on.

Men, if your lady has issues, help her and be there for her, do not make her hate for men even stronger.

I live in silence looking for methods to cope online because I am afraid of being locked away again for trying to speak.

I do not now nor do I ever plan on having children. Why would I brinkg them into such a corrupt world that can cause so much pain?

There is no discrimination when it comes to abuse.

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